A lot can change in a couple of years.
As a matter of fact, it was a little over two years ago that a spontaneous night out for beers prompted me to start this blog— an idea that had been silently taking shape in my mind for much longer, but had never materialized until that moment.
It was after that night that I decided to embark on this social experiment of sorts, making tweaks and pivoting as I went along. This was particularly important to me because I needed to take a leap without knowing where I would land beforehand. No particular reason or end goal in sight, really— simply because I could.
You see, people like me plan. I calculate every step that I take, making contingency plans along the way just in case my first option doesn’t pan out. And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, seeing things strictly through one lens is limiting. Part of me also felt that I needed to shake things up and switch gears— again, just to prove to myself that I could.
Many things have happened along the way: trips to places I had never been before, adventures with friends, unexpected roadblocks and disappointments, as well as other more pleasant surprises.
I knew that the nature of this project would likely put me in uncomfortable positions at times, but I also assumed I would be enjoying myself a great deal— if I was willing to take a leap of faith to get there, that is.
That’s what happened that night when I decided to hit up Vino a Beber in spite of what had honestly been a veritable trainwreck of a day (pounding headache included). In that moment I found some welcome release, but in hindsight something much bigger was brewing behind the scenes. I didn’t know it then, but would come to realize it in due time.
You see, in the spirit of giving up some control, I continued to hang out with many people and try my hand at different things, but this was especially true with the same person I talked to over beers that night at Vino a Beber. We went to the movies, we talked as we walked home after work, and sometimes we made impromptu pit stops for mojitos. Fun fact: I’m particularly fond of the strawberry ones at Moji Bar.
After doing my own thing for a good year or so, this person had just made their way into my life without so much as a warning. Maybe that’s why I was also taken by surprise when I realized I actually liked them. I wasn’t looking for anything but all of a sudden, there it was.
I can’t help but marvel at the irony that the minute I decided to throw caution to the wind, other things seemed to align all on their own.
Although I had no certainty this would work out, I figured that this was the time to say yes, and so I did. “If all else fails, at the very least it’ll make for a cool story down the line”— I thought to myself.
That’s typical of me. I’m always bracing myself for disappointment. My sisters think I’m a total downer, although I personally identify as a realist. I figure that this way I’m not caught off-guard if things go south, but when they go better than expected I’m pleasantly surprised. It works out, regardless of the outcome.
It has always been that way, to be honest. As a teenager, I was already carving out a life of solitude for myself— sans cats, but with plenty of books instead. My plans drastically differed from those of my peers, who were happily dating, celebrating Valentine’s day, going to dances and doing all the other things that teenage couples do. At the ripe old age of 15, my goals were pretty clear-cut: graduate high school, go to college and earn my degree, and live out the rest of my life in peaceful hermitage.
Of course, I was intrigued by the notion of romance, but ultimately I felt like it just wasn’t made for me. So I acted accordingly and did my own thing, adjusting my expectations in the process (i.e. renouncing them altogether).
“If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be”— I reasoned, and save for certain moments and occasions, that worked out pretty well for me.
Keeping all of this in mind, you could probably imagine my surprise as I witnessed things moving along nicely and dare I say, getting better with time. My contingency plans hadn’t prepared me for this, but I was happy and had all but tossed them aside somewhere along the way.
Despite the healthy dose of skepticism that I carry around with me, at one point I conceded that this was the real thing, and he agreed. I think that’s also when we decided to get married.
I mean, sure. I caught a bridal bouquet once, so I guess that means something in ye olde wedding lore. But still, me? If my teenage self could see this she would probably roll her eyes in disgust, and the mere thought of that just makes me laugh.
Make no mistake, though. This is real life and this is my full circle moment: the story of how one ‘yes’ led me down a path I never saw myself traveling and with a person I never would have imagined, but who I am currently —and happily— sharing my life with.
From one yes to another. From one night of beers to a lifetime. It’s funny how it all works out, and the ways in which time changes everything.